---->How Healty is Your Relationship?<----

Is your relationship entangled, dominant/submissive, independent or interdependent? Find out where does your relationship stand. Take the quiz below:

1. I think a relationship should:
(a) Invlove a high level of emotional, financial and physical reliance.
(b) Have someone who take charge.
(c) Invloved two dependent people who have their own lies and make their own decisions.
(d) Provide emotional supposrt, share things, but foster individuality.

2. I talk to my partner about my true feelings:
(a) Never, as it causes lots of fights.
(b) Rarely or never, because my partner doesn't seem to care or want to talk about them.
(c) Rarely or never, because that's my business, not my partner's.
(d) Whenever I need to, and my partner also tell me about his/hers.

3. You are both affectionate, intimate ot have sex:
(a) Frequently, as long as we are not fighting.
(b) When my partner wants to.
(c) Infrequently it is not that important.
(d) When we both want to.

4. When conflict arises in our relationship, we deal with it by:
(a) Having a big blow-up that doesn't really solve anything at all.
(b) Having a big blow-up, and then going with what one of us decides is the best things.
(c) Avoiding it and hoping that it'll go away.
(d) Talking about it, and working out what is the best solution for us both.

5. How much do you really know about your partner?
(a) Absolutely everything, I think.
(b) Enough, but he/she pretty cagey about some things.
(c) All important stuff- siblings, parents' jobs, that type of thing.
(d) His/her history, dreams, fears and learning more all the time.

6. In our relationship we:
(a) Do everything together, or at least we try.
(b) Spend time doing what my partner wants to do.
(c) Don't spend time doing that much time together- we do our own thing.
(d) Spend a lot of time together, but do things independently as well.

7. In our relationship, if the other person does something:
(a) I often end up feeling insecure, unloved and/or resentful.
(b) I feel that my partner doesn't care about me, but it is a relief because it means that don't fight.
(c) I feel ok because that is what I want to do also.
(d) We usually know and agree to it.

8. An affair is:
(a) Unthinkable- we will be together forever, I'm never letting my partner go.
(b) Possible- after all, I'm not really anyting special.
(c) Possible- I'm getting bored with y partner. Surely there's more to life.
(d) Unlikely- we are both committed to this relationship and making it work.

9.My idea of what makes a relationship work is:
(a) Love and devotion is all you need.
(b) Fitting in with whatever it is my partner wants to do.
(c) Being independent and not needing each other.
(d) Support, shared values and beliefs and acceptance.

10. To solve problems in a relationship we:
(a) Talk about them, but usually ends up causing a fight.
(b) Blame whoever is at fault, and that's usually me.
(c) Don't have any problems that are worth talking about.
(d) Discuss it calmly and rationally, and make things work.

11. When topical issues come up, my partner and I:
(a) Avoid talking about such things because it starts a fight.
(b) My partner insists that I must agree witht heir position, otherwise they get really angry.
(c) Don't bother to talk about any of those things.
(d) We share similar views.

YOUR SCORE
Mostly a) Entangled
-Tend to be very dependent on each other and rarely look outside the relationship for friendship or support.
-Though they spend time together, they actually reveal little about themselves to each other.
-When romantic love fades, one partner looks to the other to fill the void, believing that one partner should fulfil all the need of the other.
-If one partner becomes distant, this can cause anxiety in the other about how loved they really are.
-Tend to be ineffective at resolving conflicts.
-Attempt to control through manipulation is common.
-One or both try to bind the other more tightly to them and the relationship.
-Interactions are often very emotional, rather than rational.

Mostly b) Dominant/Submissive
-Not always man is the dominant partner; woman can just as easily be the one in control.
-Extreme cases, this may mean the dominant partner decides who they may socialise with, when and where they can go out, and what they should wear.
-Besides emotional abuse, there may be physical violance, or threat of it.
-Submissive partner often becomes resentful of their dominant partner, may feel trapped within the relationship and may not opt out by seeking other relationships where they will be accpeted and understood.
-Both tend to have low self-esteem and feelings.
-Problems are often ignored, then aired in an explosive argument, in which the dominant partner usually gets thier way.

Mostly c) Independent
-Relationship tend to be so consumed with their own lives that their relationship is sometimes forgotten.
-Each is happy doig their own thing, and tends to keep an emotional distance fro each other, charing little of themselves.
-Can appeared to be happy, as there is often little conflict and partners are usually good friends without being affectionate or intimate.
-But avoid conflict or talking about problems, and this lack of connection can result in boredom.
-Once staleness and lack of emotional contact dominates the relationship, one or both partners may fulfil their need for emotional and/or physical satisfaction elsewhere.

Mostly d) Interdependent
-Each commited to the relationship and both believe in working out problems, rather than just walking away from them or using them to score points of their partner.
-Tend to be independent, and yet still strongly attached to each other emotionally.
-Has healthy enough self-esteem to avoid laying blame for problem at the other's door.
-Confide each other and trust that their confidences will not be used against them.
-Spenf quality time togehter, but know that each partner needs time to be themselves as well.
-Important beliefs and values are shared, but dofferences of opinion are accepted.
-Based on mutual respect. support, equality and acceptance, the success of this ralationship is important, and both are willing to improve their life together.
-Recognise a relationship requires work to keep it healthy and thriving.