BEWARE!! Personal post... You can skip this if you want, it's your freedom but I know as human, we are curious about other's personal stuffs so go ahead.
Will it come tru' or not? I don't know... I really don't know :-( However I'm working hard for it and hopefully it will come tru' one day. It doesn't matter late or early, as long that I can achieve it. For those of you that have been here long enough, you might know about it. I blogged about it at least once every year. I'm so desperate...
I don't know who to blame. Blame myself? I really don't know, I guess, better don't blame anyone, it's all about fate. Going overseas to study is a dream of mine ever since I stepped into the school yard. My chance came after my form 5, my dad was OK with it but my mom didn't want to let me go and I decided to hold back the plan.
Fine... I continued my teritary education and hope that I could do my degree overseas. The chance came again, this time there was something happened that I'm not going to reveal here(only 3 people knew about it). There went my chance to do my honours degree in UK. I settled for e-learning. The problem persisted until I finished my degree.
I wanted to do my master after that but I hadn't find any suitable master degree and uni yet. I planned to find a job and do research at the same time. That time my bf suggested me to study my master in Sydney and he can be my sponsor as he's the PR there. As I'm prpearing to do my research on the uni there, the bad news came. There went another chance down the black hole.
I took a break from thinking of continue my master, I started to get my current business going. I'm still here today. I did think of leaving it behind last year and go to UK for my master as I had found a uni that offered what I want but business started to pick up. I couldn't go and leave it behind to my business partner, it's very irresponsible to do so. Summore I'm in charge of a number of clients that time.
I was torned... I struggled between these two things. To do my business or to go back to study? I continue with my business and put my study dream aside. Actually setting up my own business is also one of my dreams so I can't just let it end like this just because I want to pursue another dream of mine. I believe that we must do our best until we really cannot cope anymore that the business has to end. You don't pursue your dream halfway then abandoned it. That's not the right way. Only loser does this!
Well... sometimes I think that it could be my fault. I should study first then think of setting up a business but instead I set up a business before I do my master.
You can say that I can do my master locally. No I don't want to! They don't offer what I want and there's no point of doing simply a master degree that isn't my cup of tea. Summore my dream is to do it overseas not locally. I don't do something that I don't enjoy, it defeats the purpose.
Then, yesterday my dad brought this topic up to me. Telling me to research on UNIMAS to do my master there. They don't have what I want. I don't want to do typical degree like MBA or MIT or whatever, I want something unique that UK uni offers where I can customised my master degree, I can combine both art and science or whatever I like depending on my interest. He knew that I wanted to go to UK for it but I will need to wait for another 2 years because I'm sister will be going to UK to do her 4-year master in pharmacy and can't afford to have us go at the same time.
P/S: No more this kind of master degree offer anymore.
I really don't know, two years later... Will I be able to go? All these while I'm saving up money and hope that I can continue my studies one day. I know very well that I can't afford to pay it on my own, I need my parents or somebody(My husband? LOL... Provided he's well off enough. Don't think I'm married yet that time) to sponsor me. At least this way, my parents won't be paying my full tuition fee which is going to be quite heavy. Summore, my sister will be there for 4 years starting tomorrow and then 5 years later my brother will be going to uni too.
But then... my business how? Will it still be here by then? I wish it will but sometimes I wish that it won't(my biz partner will kill me for this!!!*run away*). This is becuase without it, I can fly off to fulfill my dream without much thinking. With it, I have to consider what is the best way, I don't think I should just leave it and go pursue my studies, dump everything to my partner. It's not fair this way. We started these whole thing together and working hard to get it going, I shouldn't be selfish. Sigh... See... I'm torn... I'm really torn between this two.
It's so hard to decide that both are your dreams. Chances came to me many times and due to some circumstances, it slipped from my grip. Again and again... I really don't know how... Sigh...
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