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Happy 2019 & 2018 Reflections

January 1st, 2019 · 2 Surrendered

All right! It’s that time of the year again. I don’t think I did a yearly reflections for so many years, I lost track! Looks like this is going to be one long post! Hehehe… I don’t think you will read till the end, it will be too long but I don’t care… It’s my blog ;p

I’ve been blogging inconsistently because I had nothing much to blog about! I also didn’t blog much about my personal life since I came back to Kuching. It’s very much due to having a full-time job. I did not have much time and energy left to blog, so much time and efforts needed! Furthermore, because I was working full-time, I couldn’t attend events happened during office hours (also those in the evenings or weekends because I was tied up with my job commitments or would be flat by then), so I had less contents to update. Blogging is hard work! It’s not like what everyone thinks that all you need to do is just take some photos and write something. There’s so much more to that, you need to do research, edit the photos/videos, plan the content, compose the content, proofreading and more! It can take hours or days for a post!

If you’re working full-time for 6 days a week or 5 days a week with tonnes of work that need to be done out of office hours due to ad-hoc requests and traveling needed for the job, it is not easy to maintain the blog. It’s also because of the position I was holding since 2014, I was not able to share publicly as I felt that it is not appropriate. No… I’m not disclosing it today too even though I’ve left the jobs *LOL* Some of you might know where I worked by looking at some subtle hints posted everywhere on my social media channels(Instagram and Facebook, Twitter) but most don’t.

Ok… Let’s get into business *LOL* This will be more like reflections from 2014 to 2018 as all these made up the me of 2018.

The longest time I stayed with a company is 2 years 1 month followed by 2 years. Ever since I’m back in Kuching after 2 years stint in Adelaide, I had changed three workplaces in Kuching.

First was in 2013, just a part-time job. I decided to leave after 3 months as it is not a place that I want to stay any longer. Besides, I had done the project I promised to deliver in less than 2 months. So, it’s time to move on. I made friends there and we’re still hanging out with each other from time to time. I then took few months break just to realign my life. At the same time, I was offered a tutoring job in a local adult learning institute, still doing it.

From the previous job, an ex-colleague left the company too and joined a new company. In 2014, she recommended me to join her new workplace. I went for interview and was accepted to join the company. I was there for 2 years 1 month. I enjoyed my time there even though I didn’t get to have a lot of work-life balance such as I had to work on the weekends and evenings when required, even had to go back to work at odd hours of the night for an hour or two; dealt with all sort of people from colleagues to the public; did most of the job without an assistant from marketing to communications to PR to event to social media to web maintenance and sometimes a bit of graphic design and photography, it’s a one-man show! Still, at least I still had the energy to enjoy some me-time. I did not drag myself to work, only 2 sick leaves applied for the 2 years and 1 month. I learnt so much! I’m so glad that I was given the opportunity to be there and given trust to hold the position without any experience in the industry. However, at a certain point of time, there were some changes happened, since I had laid some foundations, left a legacy(I believe I did), I decided that it’s my time to leave and move on. I resigned in 2016 without having a job waiting for me. To me, I don’t mind at all, I just wanted to take a break for few more months, traveled with my parents before looking for a new job again. I’ve never work for money anyway(that said, the wages must justify the position la…), it’s all for the experiences. To me, a job is like a project, I do what I need to do, achieve something from it, leave a legacy and move on and let other people take over.

I just can’t stay in a place for too long… My butt is always very itchy to move around hahaha…

So I left… Thinking that I’m gonna enjoy the next few months holidaying, an opportunity knocked on the door. I had totally forgotten about a job I applied few months back before I resigned. It was for fun anyway knowing that it’s not easy to get in if you do not have any backing or connection. I went for interview and was offered the job. Holding high hopes in this new workplace, certainly look nice to have in one’s resume(but I have problem now telling interviewer about this job especially on what I had achieved and why I left hahaha…), I went in hopeful. Guess what?!? HAHAHA!! There… The nightmare began… *WINK* Welcome to hell(I didn’t get it when a friend wished me that πŸ˜›)… Seriously! I won’t go into much details on what happened but I’m still grateful that I was able to work there, I didn’t learn or gain much skills related to the job but I did learn a lot about being more street smart and how ugly the society can be *LOL* I also believe I did leave a legacy by giving some people a whale of hell throughout my time there πŸ˜› Made some good friends there too though. Not bad at all actually, I’ll never trade anything for this experience. How many can experience such thing?!? Thanks to those whom trusted and supported me while I was there. It made me grow and discover myself more. Apparently, ball carrying and polishing are not my forte.

It’s a 2-year contract, I wanted to leave so badly after 3 months, I just couldn’t fit in. Lalala… However, with some strengths, supports, and assurance given(you know who you are), I dragged on with many sick leaves and emergency leaves taken. I think I was on the verge of sinking into depression too. I was left with no me-time even though only 5-day work week. I was constantly in bad mood, suffer bad skin, bad hair fall, and going to work was a chore. Finally… Cleared my leaves, contract ended, not knowing whether I have a new contract or not *LOL* it’s complicated(long story, can’t share it here, what’s done is done, just let karma works), no one said anything to me! People just expected me to not show up to work automatically after end of contract *LOL* I still showed up for few days because labour ordinance said so and then I submitted my resignation letter which was also quite eventful πŸ˜€ OMG! Want to resign also cannot process my resignation properly. Go figure… I don’t know what weed they’re smoking hahaha… It was one huge breath of relief after sending in the letter!! MAKAN SELAMAT straight way and shredded my name cards! *LOL* Never felt so good. Well… There are still people asking whether I want to take legal actions or go back since there’s a new boss who is very capable… No need, no thanks, I’m fine, thank you. Karma will take its own course. Hope with the new leadership, things will improve for my ex-colleagues. I salute them for being able to stay on for so long. Not me… I just cannot… πŸ˜›

I am now more selfish when it comes to my well-being. No job is worth sacrificing your overall well-being. There is really no point to force yourself to stay to prove your worth/capability; or to satisfy your ego; or to be a hero to stand-by/support certain people. If someone really cares for you, he/she won’t mind that you get out of the toxic environment a.s.a.p. or take a needed break to recover. Your health is your own responsibility, there is nothing more important than that. Unless you really need the money and you have no choice. If that is the case, just be prepared to bear the consequences until you are unfit for work and your place will be filled immediately by another person. It’s business as usual, the company won’t die without you. Otherwise, listen to your body, it’s crying for help, spare yourself the agony! If you are capable, you don’t even have to worry there is no job for you. I’m living by this belief now. All I can say is that I’m lucky enough to be able to take control of my life before it is too late. Seriously people! It’s not worth to die or suffer this way.

Also, work with integrity is very important. When there is no integrity, there is no trust. It’s gonna be one hell of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual torture which can lead to breakdown be it yourself or your team. You’ll end up being a victim of blame or drag into unwanted conflicts even when you try so hard to mind your own business, you have no idea what people are doing behind you!

Since the eventful resignation, I’ve been enjoying my time, doing nothing, having fun πŸ˜› Traveled with parents and friends, started to be more active on social media and my blog, did some ad-hoc projects, and got back into my part-time tutoring job. I’m so happy that I’ve been chosen by Althea to be one of their angels too.

Here’s the one last unboxing video of the year, received it yesterday! So excited!

I rejected 3 job offers… HAHAHA!! First one, they wanted me to start immediately but I had 3 months of traveling ahead of me! Second one, it’s not the kind of thing I wanted to do. Third one, my instinct just worked its wonder for me to give it a miss.

All right, enough of work… On to personal life… Hmm… I don’t think I have any to share! *LOL* Work had basically taken up bulk of my life all these years! Sounds pathetic. Hahaha… I had traveled to Taiwan, England, Wales, and Osaka this year. England, Wales, and Osaka posts not completed yet -.-” Wonder how long into 2019 to complete them hahaha…. I’ve discovered myself more and feel so liberated. Thanks to those who had came in and out of my life for the experience. Remember… Karma… *GRIN*

I have plan to start a weekly video this year but we’ll see… It’s gonna take so much time to do it, planning, recording, editing, publishing and so much more!

Also, I will also start to not mind things that are no longer my problem. Why waste all the time, energy, and efforts for something that has got nothing to do with you? I would like to apologize to anyone who I “terrorized” intentionally or unintentionally all these years(many of them for sure). I do agree I’ve been a terrible person(if you think I am, then I am, no point for me to refute, like it or not, I can’t control what you think about me and vice versa).

As for resolutions, I don’t have any for as long as I can recall hehehe… I don’t see the point of having it. Come what may and take it a step at a time.

So… I guess that’s about it. We will see what 2019 has to offer. Thank you for reading πŸ˜‰ Happy 2019!

Categories: Bulletin Board · Heart Matters

2 surrendered so far ↓

  • 1 Tiffany K // Jan 1, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    Wow what an eventful year! The candid way you write is super refreshing. πŸ™‚ It’s my first visit to your blog – found you on the Beauty Bloggers’ FB page.

  • 2 sweet surrender // Jan 1, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    Hi Tiffany, thanks for visiting. πŸ™‚ Glad you enjoyed it. You have a lovely blog too!

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