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October 31st, 2007 · 10 Surrendered

I feel crappy these few days but I don’t feel like sharing my emo posts in this blog anymore. If you notice it, I don’t post very personal stuffs in this blog anymore. I just don’t feel like sharing them with my readers anymore. Sigh… I think this is a very bad sign for my blog… It was supposed to be a personal blog, blogging about anything and everything that make me happy, make me sad, make me angry or just lame theories of mine but now…

I have a lot to share but the strange thing is that when I want to compose it, nothing came out. In fact, I hate it when people said that I should consider others’ feelings when I blog about something whenever I offended some people with my posts. HECK! This is my blog OK!?!?! Whatever shit I want to share is non of your business! Then now… I wish I can share any shit like I used to and do not care about what people think about me but I just can’t do it anymore.

My problems are on and off. When it comes, I feel like blogging about it but when it’s time to blog about it, I didn’t feel that bad anymore and would scrap the idea. Sometimes it’s so bad that I wanted to blog about it but my fingers just froze, my mind went blank and I just couldn’t type anything personal out anymore.

Oh dear… I don’t know why?!?!? Is it because that I have more readers now and many know me in person that I feel very self-conscious now? I notice that the way I blog have change apart from the paid posts. Don’t drag the paid posts issue in, I need the money, thank you very much! If you would like to complain about my paid posts, I have to remind you that this is my blog and just shoo OK!?!?! Unless you can give me such money then I might consider stop writing paid posts and monetizing my blog.

I have a long-time reader told me that he seldom visit my blog since I started writing paid posts. I’m sad but well… He’s been following me since I started blogging. Can’t blame him anyway. I know I had lost many readers from monetizing my blog at the same time I also gain new readers, make new friends. Besides that, some of my family members, friends and even business associates are reading my blog too. It’s not very wise to share too personal stuffs especially when it comes to business associates. This is making me very self-conscious I must admit that might be the problem for not being able to share something personal. The moral of the story, do not let the people that are doing business with you read your blogs *LOL*

Some of you might say that I can just password protect my very personal post. NUH~ That’s not my cup of tea. If I want to do that I might as well write it in a diary and lock it some safe instead of putting it in my blog and not letting people reading it. I tried blogging anonymously before, yes I did. Surprise! However, it didn’t last. I just don’t feel satisfied doing so.

So? I’m wondering do you people read my paid posts or not? I can say that the answer is 90% NO. Hahaha… I know some do read it because it’s what they need and some read it to get ideas on how to write their own paid posts. The later is actually quite annoying, I had caught quite a number of paid posts in their blogs that are almost similar to mine, some even have the same sentence structure as mine and only bother to change some nouns. That pisses me real off! However, I never report them, I’m very kind one… Summore I never got warning from the advertisers too, so I don’t care. If I got a warning from the advertiser due to this issue, then I’m going shoot these people that “take my ideas” and make sure they are banned from the programs.

For those of you that never bother to read my paid posts well… All I can say is that you might be missing out something. I did said that I don’t share much about my very personal stuffs lately in my blog but in fact I did share about myself a bit. They’re actually embeded in my paid posts. It’s either you notice it or not hahaha… For example, it’s not easy shoe shopping with me, I’m missing somebody and wanted that somebody to call me, I’m very particular about having the same things as others, I would love to travel to everywhere in the world, I hate people that like to spend more than they earn and so much more. They are all embeded in the paid posts.

Anyway…. I guess I should stop here. It’s getting very lengthy and it’s late already. I should be getting some sleeps, sleeping late is not good for your skin. Basically… I really feel very crappy these days and I just can’t share it in my blog anymore. This is what I said now and you’ll never know maybe tomorrow I’ll be sharing my emo posts with you. Argg… I really don’t know what I want now…

Categories: Heart Matters

10 surrendered so far ↓

  • 1 Alex // Oct 31, 2007 at 10:31 am

    Lol.. Take it easy kawan.. I’m going through the same phase as you are.. But you are at least better. U still post.. As for me.. want to post, ended up nothing.. Then best not post.. Lol.. Keep ur chin up.. Think it will pass this emo thingy 🙂 Hv a nice day!

  • 2 sweet surrender // Oct 31, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    Blame PMS? 😛 *LOL*

  • 3 jam // Nov 1, 2007 at 2:38 pm

    BTW, it is conscious, not concious. That shows I read every single word you write! Any rewards?

  • 4 sweet surrender // Nov 1, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    jam, hahahaha… typo *LOL* Didn’t notice it even after so much editting. Rewards? Eeek… No 😛

  • 5 cdason // Nov 1, 2007 at 8:21 pm

    When you release.. its just a lonnggg post….. hehe..

  • 6 sweet surrender // Nov 1, 2007 at 9:28 pm

    cdason, hahaha ;p long post indeed

  • 7 New Category: In Love | Sweet Surrender v8.0 (food, make money, fashion, reviews, tech, life…) // Nov 4, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    […] The other day, I was feeling really crappy and I couldn’t sleep well for few nights in a row and I even cried myself to sleep two days in a row. It’s not a glamorous thing to admit it here though. First night, I cried for two hours -.-’ I didn’t know I could actually cry this long hahaha… Then the second night just teary eye when I’m trying to go to sleep. For these two nights, whenever I closed my eyes, all the memories of him kept playing in my mind. I don’t know why, what had triggered it? I really have no idea at all. […]

  • 8 Kaching // Nov 14, 2007 at 10:11 am

    another one of ur long story…
    even hw emo it is, i will read it..

  • 9 sweet surrender // Nov 14, 2007 at 11:52 am

    Thanks for your support! 😛

  • 10 Kaching // Nov 14, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    ur welcome… u can see how much i spam… ops.. commented u knw la..

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