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All I Want to Say is…

February 19th, 2009 · 2 Surrendered

Please think of the consequences that I had told you. I don’t ask for more. All I want is that you understand what I’m thinking, what I’m worrying about all these while that made me acted that way.

I know I worry a lot. That’s me. Things that I worry always happened without fail. It’s not one time, many times. At the end, who was the one that helped you got tru’ all the mess? It’s me. Also, who was the one that always become the bad person? It’s me also. Not only that, who was the one that had to suffer? It’s me also! I don’t know why am I so stupid?

I had told you many times about the consequences when you decided to do this or that but you never listen or bother. You kept assuring me that it won’t happen and you just go ahead. Until at the end, I have to step in to help you with everything, be the devil’s advocate and ended up being hated by people.

For once, please take me seriously. You said it won’t happen as usual but from my experiences all these years, it did happen. How can I trust you again especially this time which related to the only thing and hope that I have?

I worry for the reasons I told you, all I hope is that you will take note of them and realised that these things can happen even though it’s not 100% as it directly affects me. If it doesn’t affect me, you think I will care so much and worry so much?

When it happens, I’m the one that will get hurt. You had hurt me enough with what you’ve done recently and I don’t want you to hurt me more. All I’m asking is please do not hurt me anymore, please take me seriously this time and ponder upon what I had told you.

I know you might not be able to digest what I had told you with your current state but you have to! You started it and you have to take the responsibility. It doesn’t only affect me but you also. You have to know how I feel before you take another leap. You are going too fast, way too fast for me to accept anything. Therefore I have to act fast to let you know all these before you go on to the next step.

I have to be selfish now, just like you. It’s for my well being. I’ve been always trying to be considerate with you but in return what do I get? All I got are your inconsiderate acts because you never think futhur, only care about what’s in front of you and jump right in.

Please… Go slow… Digest what I had told you and don’t make me go crazy and do things that have no advantage to any of us. For once, please go slow, it’s for your own good too. Going too fast will kill you fast.

I wish you all the best and if I do go crazy for no reason from time to time please understand what I’m going tru’. I am as stress as you are.

Thank you for your understanding and I really appreciate what you’ve been doing for me all these while.

Categories: Heart Matters

2 surrendered so far ↓

  • 1 cdason // Feb 20, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    “I had told you many times about the consequences when you decided to do this or that but you never listen or bother. You kept assuring me that it won’t happen and you just go ahead. Until at the end, I have to step in to help you with everything, be the devil’s advocate and ended up being hated by people.”

    Been there, done that.. *SIGH*

  • 2 sweet surrender // Feb 20, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Sigh… It’s very painful.

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